HIV/AIDS is a topic that is very important to me. It is a subject that makes me incredibly sad, as well as intensely angry. Even though I come from a tiny farm community in Ohio, I have lost many many friends to this disease and the number of people I know still living with this infection makes me sick to my stomach when I think about it.
This piece was inspired by a situation that transpired shortly before I moved to New York. One night, while sitting in my apartment, I heard a tremendous wail followed by sobbing. I'm not sure I have ever heard anything quite like it in my life. The sound was coming through the wall of my living room which was shared with the bedroom of the apartment next door. I later came to find out that my neighbor had just discovered his brother had tested positive for HIV. Not only that, but he had contracted it from my best friend, Greg.
Greg has known he was HIV+ since 1988, long before I ever met him. We became friends 8 years ago after meeting in a bar. We worked together at 3 different jobs throughout the years. For about a year, he and I were roommates. Greg and I were so close that I considered him a member of my family. On most occasions, we referred to each other as "sisters." I knew about his status, and never judged him for it. When he would become ill, I would make sure he made it to his appointments or sit with him in the hospital for hours on end. That's what you do for your family.
When Adam tested positive, he automatically knew that he contracted the virus from Greg. There was no other possibility. We soon learned the details of the evening in question and learned that Greg had spent a great deal of time and energy trying to convince Adam that he was in fact negative. After Adam agreed to "hook up" with him, Greg felt that he couldn't use a condom or it might set off a red flag. A night of mediocre sex was worth more than another person's life to him.
I have not really spoken to Greg since the incident. I realized if this happened once, there have probably been many other occasions. I don't even want to imagine the number of people he has infected in the past 24 years. Continuing our friendship only felt like condoning Greg's actions. Would you have stayed friends with Jeffrey Dahmer after he was arrested? I can't. Maybe that makes me a bad person, but I am standing up for what I think is right.
It kills me not to be friends with Greg. It kills me even more that I pray every night for his disease to take him so he can't infect anyone else. I feel I made the right decision, but maybe I am wrong. What I do know is that even though the disease isn't as high profile as it once was, it is still out there destroying lives. Not just the lives of those infected, but those who love them as well.
While I was working on this project, I received a call that another acquaintance from Ohio had passed from AIDS related complications. It was no one I was ever terribly close with, but still another member of my community who I will never see again because of this horrible disease. When will it end?
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