I am looking at a xerox...

I am looking at a xerox of a photo reproduced on a photo paper. It is a black and white photo that looks old - it is yellowing and the reproduced image is a bit disintegrated. It is a picture of a woman standing on a background of a sea shore. The background is almost bare except for some flat shore waves stretching horizontally from one end to another, slicing the photo in the middle. There is a small, blurred ship in the very far distance on the left and an unidentifiable object, a stone or a sea shell, on the bottom right. I notice some elongated stain marks on the right of the standing figure which at first glance look like somehing is oozing, falling from the sky. There are couple of noticeable holes which (together with the “misplaced” marks) question the airy space, making it solid, a wall perhaps or a painted/ photographed backdrop. It could also be an inherited damage in the original photograph.

The woman is wearing a long striped dress or a bathing gown that flows gently in the sea breeze. In her left hand she clutches a jacket or scarf that complements her dress in pattern and movement. The figure casts a “flowing” dark and distinctive shadow on the ground. The sun or source of light that emenates from the left hits her left side; part of her turned face, arm and clutching hand, scarf, bottom of dress and left shoe. The vertical “wavy” black striped gown and the horizontal white waves, together with the parallell dark shadow, create a beautiful composition.

She is wearing high heeled pumps but the heels do not really sink in sand (whether wet or dry). In fact, it looks like she steps on solid surface. Again, Is the background a reproduced image of the sea?

She is standing with her face and half body turned towards the camera. It is a full body shot and the movement of the body and dress renders the photo a natural immediacy that “forgives” the dramatic, choreographed pose imposed possibly by the photographer or the poser herself. Is it a snap shot or a carefully planned event? And indeed why would she wear this dress and shoes to the beach?

She is smiling. But her smiling eyes and mouth are in the shade whereas the lit cheeks and chin give away the facial expression. This adds to the dramatic quality of the photograph. It is a good, open, trusting and friendly smile, slightly shy and naive and has a touch of coyness to it; a smile that looks rather spontaneous and inviting.

The woman in the reproduced photo is my mother. Her clothing and shoes make it clear that it was taken in the late 1930's. She is standing on the beach in Tel Aviv, possibly couple of years( maybe less) after arriving in Israel from Poland. She must be 18 or 19 years old , the youngest daughter in the family she left behind and lost soon after in the death camps. She has this look familiar with new immigrants; trying to make amends look, innocent, trusting, brave and hopeful look. But it is mainly a displaced look. The look that strains to put together disparate geographies and cultures. And in my mother's case (like so many others who arrived to Israel from the diaspora at that time) it is doubly displaced because of the tragic circumstances. She will soon learn (or has she learned already)about her family's lot and her predicament. I see this look and the backdrop. I see the holes and I see the stains on a wall that aspires to be beautiful mediterrenean sky. I could also stay on the beach and choose to see the sky as falling, or something falling from it , as in Bruegel's treatment of the myth of Icarus, she is standing smiling posing the question: can you see “what cannot be seen” and can you live with it?