Mother

Mother

[muhth-er] –noun

1.     One person who does the work of twenty. For free.

(See: ‘masochist’, ‘loony’, ‘saint’.)

Notes:

There is no greater blessing than being called a mom. A mom may seem quiet and reserved, but if you mess with her children, she will break out a level of crazy that will make your nightmares seem like a happy place. Mom is always right. You know you’re a mom when picking up another human to sniff their butt is not only normal, but necessary. ‘Like’ if your child is the most beautiful thing you have ever made. A worried mother does better research than the FBI. Without my children, my house would be clean and my wallet would be full but my HEART would be empty. Every mom deserves a shower like this. My kids are my <3 and everything. Hit ‘Like’ if your kids are the greatest blessing in your life. I may seem quiet and reserved, but if you mess with my kids, I will show you seven different kinds of crazy. True Story. Motherhood <3. Without my kids, tomorrow wouldn’t be worth the wait and yesterday wouldn’t be worth remembering.

Woo hoo, it’s Friday –Oh wait … I’m a mom. Every mom deserves a Jacuzzi like this! Every mom deserves a cozy getaway like this. Share if you agree. Every mom deserves a house like this. Home is not home without “Mom.” Like if you agree. Every mom needs this pillow. Every mom deserves a cake like this. Every mom needs to be hugged like this. Every mom deserves to be loved. Sometimes when I open my mouth, my mother comes out:

(See also: woman)

Woman

[woo m-uh n] –noun

1.     One who builds a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at her.

Notes:

Woman was made by the rib of man, from under his arm, to be protected by him. Real men respect women. Real men like curves, only dogs do bones. ‘Like’ if you know what a REAL woman is. Share if you know what a REAL man is. Real men never beat women, they beat assholes who do. It doesn’t matter what she did, it’s never okay to hit a woman, ever. Real women know that relationships are very simple, either you get married or your break up. Real men are kind to animals; share if you agree! What you allow is what will continue. Real men do real things. [Wedding] bands will make her dance!